"Internship pa lang, pagod na ako." — And That is Valid 🌸

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I had four back-to-back internships before finishing college and went straight to corpo.

Honestly, it was brutal. More than once parang gusto ko nalang mamahinga. It felt like living in Ariana Grande’s song thank u, next. I need to move on fast or else I won’t function well for my next internship.

Maraming beses I was pushed to take a pause and remember why I was doing what I was doing, especially during my internship days and honestly, it was physically and mentally draining.

I’m grateful that now I learned to admit that is okay, na ayos lang mapagod in between blessings, but back then it was tough :sneezing_face:

Hence I am sharing here some things that really helped me a lot in being comfortable with the feeling of being lost, tired, and ungrateful as a young adult:

  • :book: Reading. One book that really changed my perspective is The Defining Decade by Dr. Meg Jay. It changed how I view my 20s and taught me how to explore life with direction. Kahit na hindi pa ako ganun kasigurado sa gusto kong gawin, I know that all my experience contributes to the version of myself I would very much like to see.
  • :movie_camera: Watching Movies. I like films that ground me. Shoplifters by Hirokazu Koreeda is specially good in reminding me of the things that truly matter. Sa totoo lang, society would label the family dynamic in the movie as toxic, but not sure why when I watch it all I could feel was appreciation for the people in my life. I’d say give it a try still.
  • :microphone: Casually Listening to Podcasts. One that I used to listen to a lot was Adulting With Joyce Pring for obvious reasons. It’s comforting to know na hindi lang ako nag-iisa sa confusion ng pagiging adult.

These are but some sources of good pauses in my life. I call them that because they allowed me to breathe in between my responsibilities.

The reading in train while I commute from my internship place to school, the movie breaks in between drafting thesis and answering my manager’s message, and the background noise as I clean my room - all those kept me sane even in time when my Google Calendar could not (i use it to list down my tasks for the day).

I guess Ariana Grande was right when she said And I learned from the pain, I turned out amazing.

Although in this case I am still turning out and hoping it would be amazing :joy:

How about you? What are your good pauses in your daily life? :sparkles:

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I can totally relate, grabe! Ang hirap nung pakiramdam na bawat araw parang copy-paste lang ng buong linggo mo, walang progress, walang pagbabago. It gets even harder when you’re not just physically tired, but mentally and emotionally exhausted too. :((

To share a bit of my story, I’m actually a career shifter. Right after college, I felt completely lost. I had no clue what career path to take, let alone what skills I needed to learn. My days looked simple on the surface, pero sobrang draining: I’d wake up, learn or upskill, apply for jobs, eat, learn again, sleep.

There were so many days when I’d just stare at the wall, not knowing what to do next. Sobrang bigat, family pressure, financial burden, and this constant fear that I’m being left behind. I knew I had to keep going to find my way out, pero dumating din ako sa point na I just felt numb. Pagod na pagod na ako, frustrated, hopeless.

One day, habang pagod na pagod ako to even try learning something new or applying for another job, I randomly found an old copy of The Chronicles of Narnia tucked away at the back of our shelf. I started reading it after a long day and to my surprise, parang gumaan yung pakiramdam ko. For the first time in a while, I wasn’t thinking about rejection or pressure. I just felt strangely good.

That’s when I realized: hindi pwedeng puro push. Kailangan ko rin pala mag-pause. Tama ka, even small things like reading can help refresh and recalibrate the mind.

From that day on, I started making space for little “pauses” in my routine, even just an hour. I read more books (especially fiction!), started watching movies again (classics like The Godfather haha), and even journaled kahit magulo.

Looking back, those pauses changed everything. After months of pushing non-stop and ending up burnt out and empty-handed, it was only when I allowed myself to rest that things started to fall into place. I had more energy, more clarity, and coincidentally, that’s when I finally landed a job. :face_holding_back_tears:

I used to think na ang pahinga, para lang sa may oras at privilege. But now I know, rest isn’t a luxury. It’s a non-negotiable. Something you give to yourself not just because you’ve worked hard, but so that you can keep going. It’s not a reward, it’s what completes you after a long, hard day :))

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